Loveletters

Well, I am glad you came. Thank you for following my invitation. I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did. The hot chocolate certainly was drunk with abandonment. Also the cookies were excellent. I, of course, tried to be everywhere at once. I caught only snippets of conversations, before my attention was caught by the emptying of the hot chocolate cups.

I remember that Jules from James’ Empty Blog was talking about

“I am woman I do science and I’m not telling you my name” blogs.

I think she found them boring. Something about not seeing the problem. It was rather interesting to watch how the others got kind of angry and were then surprised at Jules’ conclusion. Female Science Professor jumped in with a story about a creepy technician and how her students handled the situation.

All ruffled feathers being smoothed again, I wandered over to the kitchen to find Addy N. of What an Untenured College Professor Should Not Be Doing and Science Mama the Mother of All Scientists talking about babys, the tenure track and how the love of science sometimes gets lost underneath all the problems.

As I’m sure all of the newer mom blogger-academics can attest- it is really hard having a baby on the tenure track.

They always say that after you have a baby, your relationships tend to suffer. And my relationship with science has probably suffered the most.

PhD Mom entered the conversation

Amazingly and without provocation the discussion at my departmental holiday lunch party consisted almost entirely of evaluation of the work-life balance issue and trying to get more women in STEM.

I took the pot with the hot chocolate over to fill cups for people on the sofa. There Cherish was asking

Do I really want to spend four to five years away from my family, working on a completely new degree at what will probably be a very intense program? (And do I really want to take my chances with another program like that?) Do I want to possibly end up with an advisor who expects me to be a workaholic? Do I want to pull my husband away from a job he loves? Do I want to take all of us away from our families? If I go my myself, wouldn’t it be awful to see my family once a week or once a month?!

Update: Before FemaleCSGradstudent replied, Doc-in-Training told us the secrets to success (too bad for all those that weren’t listening:

Certainly, his brilliancy plays a major role. Colleagues have been saying that Talented Professor must have an IQ of 200+. Nah. I dunno. Maybe or maybe not. But he sure is quick and sharp. But does it mean that normal person like me has no chance to reach his level of success?!

Cherish still seemed to really need encouragement. FemaleCSGradstudent then told an allegory:

“You should be like Jenny. Jenny is our best child, all grown up now. She has made hundreds of beautiful stained glass windows all over the world.”

It didn’t really fit with what Cherish said, but I was too busy to wonder. Female Science Professor, who had sat down next to Cherish then ranted a little about how

Criticizing someone for being aggressive is a cheap way to undermine them. What does it even mean?

I think she wanted to encourage her to be assertive. I was saved from further contemplation of this convoluted conversation by EcoGeoFemme, the Happy Scientist, who brought out a toast to all Science Women she met in the last year. We opened Champagne and as the afternoon wore on some grew quite tippsy.

This naturally led to reviews of achievments past. Amanda, a Lady Scientist, told of passing exams and how

Suddenly, it feels, that I started mentoring my own undergrads and being responsible (entirely) for my projects.

Field Notes also seemed to be very content about her year:

This year was a one of the best years I’ve had in recent memory.

Unfortunately she seems to be leaking from the pipeline. Jenn from FairerScience also had a great 2007. Jenny F. Scientist, A Natural Scientist, wasn’t too happy with how her year ended, especially not with the gratuitious behaviour from her relatives:

Although I forget from year to year, it’s always lovely to be reminded how some of you think your narrow, circumscribed experiences are comprehensive.

Mrswhatsit echoed the sentiment:

Dear 2007, Well, our relationship has come to an end. I gotta admit, I’ve been thinking like maybe that’s a good thing.

A Mad Hatter and the Newbie Early to Bed both chose to rather draw mid-academic year reviews rather than year end reviews:

One of the things that has always bothered me about academic research is the culture of single-minded dedication to work and science, and the lack of tolerance for one’s life and interests outside of lab.

Ten things to do the year you are coming up for tenure. (in addition to working your tushy off)

They seemed quite comfortable together, so I left them to listen in on Science Womans

Here’s my take on the top 10 women in science stories of 2007

That Scientiae was at the top was quite flattering to all those there and recieved cheers all around.

In an aside to me PhD me confessed

I have an inordinate fear of falling. Frankly, it terrifies me; my heart was in my throat as soon as I started sliding and knew there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I assured her that many could emphasise and went to refill my champagne glass. Meanwhile Skookumchick was teling us her reasons for selfimprovment next year

You say you’re a feminist engineer. You say you believe in academic freedom, the thing that tenure is supposed to protect. You tell yourself that you want to be an aligned and balanced faculty member who clears a path for others to have an easier time of it after you, who speaks truth to power in her department and school, who helps engineers see themselves as feminists and work towards making a feminist engineering discipline.

Science Girl, whose Cat got Killed by Curiosity, wants to

So, this year I resolve to work on accepting the things I cannot change. Take a deep breath and repeat after me: “Things beyond my control do not reflect on my ability to succeed.” With regained trust in myself, I resolve to work on changing the things I can.

Jane confessed she thinks that

When I look back on what really disappointed me about 2007, the thing that jumps out at me is that I often stand in my own way.

I went to Propter Doc who was sitting a little aside and asked wether she had made any resolutions. Her answer

No chance!

Geeky Mom instead said

Me? I’m a bit of a self-improvement junkie. I love making resolutions and I don’t mind if I don’t make it. It’s the thought that counts. So here’s what I’m thinking for this year.

I kind of drifted of on my on thoughts about how everything will be better in 2008. It was evening and had been a long day. I felt drunk on champagne and companionship. I went to bed happy, and thinking of all the wonderful parties to come in 2008.

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