So maybe he just really hates you
Paula, 11. 03. 07|18:MärImagine. Every time a person tells a sexist joke they first say “female scientist is going to /hate/kill/whack me over the head if I say this, but.. [insert sexist "joke"/comment like: a secretary with pole dancing qualifications would be so much fun *wank, wank*]”
How would you feel? How would you feel as female scientist? What would you do? Would you do anything at all?
It’s interesting how much is implied by such a short statement. Like, how heroic the speaker feels making comments like this in the face of a feminist woman[1]. Or the way female scientist is implicitly linked to the sexual degradation. One would have to almost call it clever how the speaker reminds all persons present of not only his disdain for women, but also that female scientist is only a woman[2].
I wouldn’t be writing about it, but it is disturbing my cool calm collectedness, so I would be interested in how you would handle this situation, man or woman.
- Damn those feminazis sure make life hard with their PC thing [↩]
- OK, that’s obvious, but doesn’t necessarily have to be the defining characteristic. [↩]
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Schlagwörter:science, scientiae-carnival, sexism
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am 11. 03. 07 um 19:11
I’ve never had to deal with that within the chemistry department here. There’s about a 1:1 ratio of women to men, and I don’t know if that would inhibit sexism, but maybe it does. Or the guys here are just really nice.
…Outside the department, though, I’ve perfected my death glare. :)
In any case, it’s always nice to see more women who admit to being feminists. In the States, usually what you hear is “I’m not a feminist, but…[insert statement supporting feminist ideals]“
am 11. 03. 07 um 21:11
Is it really this bad with you (in your lab)?
I don’t recall normally hearing this kind of jokes anywhere.
If I would I would probably raise an eyebrow but do nothing more.
am 11. 03. 07 um 23:11
I got this kind of crap all the time in graduate school. In the real world you go through sensitivity training where they explain that you will be fired for telling those kinds of jokes.
This guy is just trying to provoke some kind of reaction from you. It’s probably best to just roll your eyes and ignore it.
If you’re not that mature (and I never was), you can deal with it any number of ways. There’s the Death Stare, as Ψ*Ψ mentioned. You could confront him, and ask why he thinks you’ll be offended by his stupid joke (“do you think I’ve got some pole-dancing experience?”)
Or you could do what I did and reply by telling the dirtiest, filthiest joke you can think of. This only works if you can keep your cool though. Arguably, you’re giving this guy a reaction, which is just what he wants, but I found that shock value was worth it…he’d totally misjudged you and now you didn’t fit the stereotype he’d set up for you.
Ψ*Ψ, isn’t it funny how feminist, which simply means one who believes in equal rights for women, has come to be some sort of female version of misogynist?
am 12. 03. 07 um 2:12
It would be inappropriate for the work environment. No joke is worth making your fellow colleagues feel uncomfortable.
Mitch
am 12. 03. 07 um 18:12
Ψ*Ψ, I think it’s usually about equal parts the gender ratio and the inherent jerk-ness of the parties involved (regardless of their genders)! My lab’s about 5:1 and the male members make inappropriate comments ALL THE TIME.
The best response I ever heard- I think by way of Female Science Professor- is a blank look and ‘I don’t understand’. If you repeat it a couple times they usually get embarassed about being such hopeless wankers.
The Southern way is to give the Death Stare(TM) and say ‘I beg your pardon?’. Or ‘I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. What did you say?’.
A more Stereotypical Humorless Feminist approach is the cold stare and ‘That is inappropriate and I would like an apology’ or ‘I do not find that amusing at all.’ I personally prefer to kill ‘em with kindness. Because then one’s irony and mockery is hidden under a deep layer of sugary frosting.
am 12. 03. 07 um 21:12
If I bothered to respond, I would go something like “Ho ho ho, you are so funny”.
And roll my eyes and walk away.
am 13. 03. 07 um 12:13
Thanks for all the tips, I’ll try the death stare(TM). It’s good to know you care.
J.
am 15. 03. 07 um 8:15
What if instead, they said “African-american is going to /hate/kill/whack me over the head if I say this, but.. [insert rascist “joke”/comment like: a indentured slave as grad student would be so much fun *wank, wank*]” Not so funny, huh? Anyway, it’s about degradation. Such jokes are a deliberate show of lack of respect. Can you imagine these guys making jokes to people they consider superior? No, I didn’t think so.
am 20. 03. 07 um 3:20
IMHO, the death stare lets the asshole know he has irritated you, which is satisfying to him. I think the really best response is either to say “I beg your pardon, could you repeat that?” then say “Yes, I thought that’s what you said, I just couldn’t believe it the first time.” Or else say “I don’t get it, could you explain it to me?” Then if they actually attempt to explain, say it again “I still don’t get it, why is it funny?” This should embarrass even the most idiotic of them. It forces them to explain whatever sexist (or racist) belief you have to hold in order to find the joke funny. When they have to proclaim their nasty beliefs out loud and explicitly it makes them feel stupid. Which is good for them.
am 17. 04. 07 um 10:17
It raises the wider question of whether we can have any humour that does not make fun of someone. I was at the comedy club and I think some party would have been the butt of every joke, be it blonds, race, religion, pregnant women, impotent husbands, Irish, sportsmen…
I can’t think of many jokes that would not potentially cause some offence.
am 26. 04. 07 um 23:26
Hi Jokerine,
today I had the rare opportunity to see GLIB live in action … and, let’s put it that way: proudly acclamating wornout macho phrases is not a sign of a bright head. Who knows ? Maybe he’s just compensating for the fact that Irene is the Boss in his life …
am 5. 12. 07 um 1:5
I like Zuska’s approach best – but sometimes it is just so hard to keep cool through the process of being offended… It is like being in middle school all over again. Usually I just want to tell the guy to wipe off his nose and grow up.